Addiction Battle
by BrandiFapples
Summary: Takes place during season two of Criminal Minds when Reid was going through Dilauded and dealing with the aftermath of Tobias Hankle... Enjoy!  Rated T for now. Not sure where this story will go.
1. Introduction

_One-shot based on Dr. Reid's drug addiction to Dilauded in season 2._

_Short, but sweet._

**Chapter: One**

**Written and Edited by: **_Me, Brandi Knepper. (BrandiFapples)_

**Warnings: **_Involving drug play._

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own the show Criminal Minds, which are all Edward Allen Bernero and other affiliates. I do not own the characters; they are also products of the producers._

**Character P.O.V.: **_Third person omniscient._

**Inspiration: **_Criminal Minds, of course. Life. My own depression and life battles._

_Enjoy!_

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><p>Reid, mentally jaded, walked through the front door of his apartment. All he wanted to do is sleep but knew he couldn't, not without digging out the one thing he thought of. To say that he needed it in order to sleep was an understatement, he became dependent on it.<p>

Spencer knew he had to stop now, but he's went too far already. He craves it during the day and indulges at night.

Feelings of all self control left his body. The young agent found himself going to his lock box under his bed, knowing within it are the vials of Dilauded. For a moment, he felt scared. This is another round and he can't control his urges.

Before he could think any further, he found himself browsing for the key in his pocket to open up his lock box. One turn of the key and he was gone. No longer Dr. Spencer Reid, genius FBI profiler, but just Spencer. Just Spencer, who had a serious problem. Once the Dilauded was in his hands, there was absolutely no turning back. Something possessed him every time he was in the presence of the monster. His mind kept telling him that he had to have it.

Carefully walking to the bed with the little glass bottle in one hand and the needle in the other, he sat down, not thinking twice about filling the syringe. Spencer got excited seeing the remedy fill. Placing the Bottle carefully on the nightstand, he punctured his skin, sliding the needle in carefully, carefully. Pushing the ignorance through is veins and turning them into dreams.

Sliding the needle carefully out of his arm, he set his belongings to the side before taking a deep, numb breath and drifting away.

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><p><em>Reviews are just nifty things that make my life all exciting and what not.<em>


	2. Sorry Letter

To subscribes on my "Reid's Drug Addiction" story.

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><p>Dear story subscribers,<p>

I am so, so, so sorry for letting you down by not uploading. As you're reading this letter, I'm typing the next chapter. I wrote it all at school on paper, I just have to get it to my computer and the chapter will be open for business. I swear I'll never slack on you guys like that. I have no excuse for my absence. I've just been severely depressed lately, which actually helped me write this today. So, the next chapter will be up within an hour if I'm not too high by then. I'm taking Ambian, a sleeping pill, and it's spinning my world right now. So, for you, I will deal with it because if you're still with me, I LOVE YOU!

Tut mir leid. (Sorry)

, Brandi Knepper

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><p>I'm feeling very confident about this next chapter. I read it, like, five times in detention today making many corrections. Let me know what you think of it when I post it.<p> 


	3. Thinking Back

_Okay, finally, after so long, I have this story posted for you all. If I still have an ounce of subscriber out there, thank you for your very solid patience. I hope you enjoy this story very much. Also, big thanks to _**SpiderKateCriminalMinds **_for convincing me to continue this story. She helped me a lot on the idea and the direction of the story._

**Chapter: Two**

**Written and Edited by: **_Brandi Knepper (BrandiFapples)_

**Warnings: **_None, really. Just a depressing chapter..._

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own the show Criminal Minds, which is all Edward Allen Bernero and other affiliates. I do not own the characters; they are also products of the producers._

**Character POV: **_In this chapter, mostly 3__rd__ person omniscient._

**Inspiration: **_Fellow fanfiction author: SpiderKateCriminalMind (let me know if this story was referred to you through her. Criminal Minds, of course. Life. My own depression and life battles._

Reid woke up to an annoying, and strangely loud, phone going off on his bed side table, wailing in his ear painfully. The room was spinning, he was sweating and cold. He rubbed his eyes to clear his throbbing head and wiped his sweating palms on his ratty night shirt. His phone goes off again, making him jump. The screen reads "Agent Hotchner."

Wonderful.

"Hullo?" Reid's voice cracked. His throat was dry and raw. He cleared his throat.

"Reid! Where the hell are you?" Hotch's enraged voice came blaring through the phone, making him cringe, both in pain and fear. "I've called you twenty times in the past 30 minutes. The rest of the team has tried calling you at least a few times! Where the hell are you? We have a case!"

"I... I uhm, overslept." Stating simply, as a matter of fact. He wasn't going to make a pathetic attempt to make an excuse. He didn't want a fight; I'd just make his headache worse.

"Reid, get moving! This is not, in the least, acceptable. You know better than that. You better be here in the next 30 minutes or less. We'll brief you on the jet. Wheels up in 45 minutes." With that, Hotch abruptly hung up the phone.

The young agent rose clumsily to his numb feet, needing to hurry. The worst that can happen, he thought, was that he would have to be on temporary leave or be cut off from the field for awhile. After all, this is his first major mistake in the FBI.

He, rather quickly and unsteadily, grabbed some Aleve and got in and out of the shower in record time. _Ten minutes_, he glanced at the clock and ran to his car. It takes about 6 minutes to get to headquarters.

He floors it.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"You're late Reid." Aaron Hotchner walked past himwith a cold stare.

"By a minute." He retorted, grabbing his file.

"By an hour." Hotch's gruff tone shot back.

"Sorry." Reid's voice then resembled that of an angry, defiant teenager. Anyone outside of the team would have laughed.

"Spencer?" JJ piped in, her voice laced with worry.

"Let's just go." Reid grabbed his overnight bag and headed towards the jet.

The team followed close behind while Morgan stopped Hotch.

"What's with the kid?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to partner you two up. Keep an eye on him."

"Okay, but just so you know, I aint afraid to smack pretty boy around." Morgan cracked a smile, but Hotch gave him a look that meant **I mean business**.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

_Dammit _Reid cursed in his head, casually scratching his healing inner arm. He also wished that Dilauded didn't have such intense, immediate withdrawals. He could make a mental list in his head of everything going on with his body. Sweats, check. Nausea, check. Sleepiness, check. Irritability, check. Tremors, check. Anxiety, check. Many more were on this list.

"You okay pretty boy? You've been scratching that same spot on your arm."

"It's just a dry patch of skin."

"Kid..."

"I'm not a child, alright?" His words came out quickly. This got his college's slight attention.

"Reid," Hotch began "We have three girls who were taken from their families by being brutally murdered by a sexual sadist. We have two more missing. We don't know if there dead or alive. You need to get rid of your attitude and focus on the situation at hand."

"Fine." He hastily opened his files and his boss began to brief the team.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"We're going to talk to the Pennsylvania police department before we do anything. They are who have looked into this case more. They also know the area better than anyone. We'll want their further input." JJ concluded the briefing. The team continued to look at their files in hope for better insight.

Cup after cup of coffee. It helps with the withdrawals, if only a little. Reid thanked whatever God provided the Earth with the delicious beverage. It relaxed him a tiny bit. He had other predicaments, though. His boss's anger and the rest of the team's worries. He was very thankful, though, that his mentor Jason Gideon was on a vacation. He didn't want him to see the way he was acting. He'd try to kick the habit before he got back. Moreover, though, what would his mother think of his actions? His hands began to shake with worry. _What have I gotten myself into?_

"Reid?" Derek Morgan whispered next to him.

"What?" He jumped a little.

Morgan shook his head, "What's with you?"

"Morgan, please, drop it." Reid only pleaded now, all previous agitation forgotten, turning into a depression.

"No, now. Get up; we'll talk in the back." Morgan stood and Reid followed with weak knees. Talking is the last thing he wanted to do.

"Reid, please, you have to tell us what's going on. We're doing our best as a family not to profile you, but you've got to work with us. We care about you and we don't want you hurting."

Morgan's words came on full blast to Reid's ears. How does he approach this delicate topic with his work mates? He has to say something to hold Morgan over. The message will be relayed to the team that his is just in a bad place since the kidnapping. That's not entirely false either. It was the whole reason he was in his current situation. "What is it Spencer?" Morgan calling him by his first name did it. The young genius lowered his head, fighting back the emotions threatening to play on his face. He wanted to break down in hysterics and tell this man, who's practically his brother, everything going on in his life. Everything from the extreme depression to, nightmares, gut wrenching nightly sobs, thoughts of suicide. He even wanted so tell him about the Dilauded and withdrawals. He couldn't during a case though. He'll be sent home right after landing the jet. Instead, Derek Morgan watched helplessly as tears brimmed his friend's eyes.

"I just need a minute?" He wasn't telling. He was asking permission. The older man nodded, moving aside, watching the young and obviously hurt agent disappear into the restroom.

Morgan walked back to his seat he previously occupied, now across from Hotchner. "Did you talk to him?"

"I tried. At least he listened. Hotch; the kid is obviously hurting..."

"I know, but unfortunately our case takes precedence over his situation. I know, it's hard, but we have to deal with him. Maybe working will get his mind off of things, keep him busy."

"I hope you're right." Morgan leaned back in his seat and shut his eyes.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Twenty minutes later Reid came out and settled on a bench next to a window, after grabbing a blanket from one of the storage compartments. He hated that the drug made him so cold, then hot, then cold again, sick, and so many other things. _If I hate it so much_, he thought, _then why don't I just quit? _Easier said than done. He regrets it every day. Going back to Tobias and grabbing those vials. Most of all, he regrets killing an innocent man. That's what his mind always goes back to. Tobias Hankle was a good man, with so many issues. He could have received medical help, lived his life as the man he was, free from his dad, Charles, and Raphael. He could still be breathing.

Reid was the monster here, as he so often thought. His co-workers have tried all the reassuring there is, ranging from "Tobias drugged and tortured you." In which he would reply "Tobias didn't. Charles did." Or there was "He was about to kill you." "It was self defense." It was self defense. Someone coming at you with a knife, you react quickly, without second thoughts. To be honest, Reid felt crazy at that moment. Days without water, fresh air, the beating, emotional abuse, and drugs, his mind was not exactly clear. Everything was a twisted, dizzy haze when he shot Tobias. _When he shot Charles_, he tried correcting himself of this often. It was to no avail though. Adrenalin coursed through his veins and the world went black. He believed he was imagining things when the team came to his rescue.

Now he was home, safe, but he could not stop thinking about the innocent man that _was_ Tobias Hankel. His mind played the images of his death and the deaths of those who Tobias killed in front of the Camera for Reid to see. Reid had a say in their deaths, choosing who lived. He'd never forgive himself for taking not only one innocent life, but multiple innocent lives. He stole them away from their loved ones...

"Reid." Morgan's voice boomed. It sounded like an exploding bomb in Reid's ears, surfacing him from his thoughts. His heart raced and he jumped a considerable amount from his spot on the jet bench. "Hey, pretty boy, it's just me. Sorry I scared you. We're about to land. Get strapped in." Reid obliged, throwing his cover back in its cupboard and fastening himself in a seat next to JJ.

_So... subscribe? Feedback? Anything? Comment; tell me it's horrible or great. Feedback is feedback._

_Thank you again for reading it all the way through and tolerating it and thanks again to SpiderKateCriminalMind._


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